Post Socratic Dialogues-Sex Positivity: 3
By Greg Scorzo –
Neither Philosophy or Fiction
The Psychology of Social Change
“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.”-Frank Zappa
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” -The Beatles
Davis, at this point in the conversation, is happy. She’s happy to see Lena. She’s happy to tell Lena about her new career in porn. And she wants the conversation to last as long as possible. Talking to Lena makes Davis feel like she understands her own mind better. It’s like a therapy session she’s needed for years. Davis, however, is not really aware of how Lena is feeling about this conversation.
Lena is not feeling what Davis is feeling. Not by a long shot.
Davis: I want you to feel free to ask me any questions you might have about my career, Lena. Don’t hold anything back. Don’t be embarrassed. You’re the one person I needed to tell about my new life.
Davis: I want you to be as excited about it as I am. You understand me better than almost anyone.
Lena: I don’t even know what you’d want me to ask you.
Davis: (smiling) Just be yourself. Be Lena for me.
Lena: What does that mean?
Davis: Just ask me anything you’re curious about. Ask me the first thing that pops in your head.
Lena: (thinking for a few seconds) Ok….so tell me Davis, what’s the best thing about being a pornstar?
Davis: That’s such a stupid question.
Davis: (giggling) It fucking turns me on. Hello?
Lena: Well, it doesn’t turn on every pornstar. For some women, being in the adult industry is more of a job. Some pornstars don’t even see what they do as sex. I read a book about that by Cheryl Stokes, when I did my Masters.
Davis: Well, good for her but I don’t work that way. I don’t need to deny reality, Lena. Porn is fucking sex and I fucking love it. I love how I make money. I’m not conflicted about the fact that people want to watch me. I love everything about that.
Lena: Ok, fair enough.
Davis: I’m an exhibitionist. I’m an exhibitionist from deep within my being. I’m not like you. I’m different.
Lena: I can see that, Davis.
Davis: You can’t shame me over this, Lena. I won’t stop.
Lena: I wasn’t trying to shame you.
Davis: I’m talking about the world. The world looks down on women like me.
Lena: I wouldn’t say it looks down on you. I’d say for most people, sexual exhibitionism is just weird. It doesn’t feel natural.
Davis: Well, it’s not normal. You’re right. That’s part of why it’s liberating.
Lena: When you’re an exhibitionist, it’s pretty random who can see you having sex. It’s random who you’re getting off, isn’t it?
Davis: Yeah, that’s part of the appeal. I could be turning on any dirty old man I would never date in a million years, any hot guy with a jealous girlfriend. I love pissing off the girlfriends. That’s so much fun. (smiling)
Lena: Is that because you like making women feel inadequate?
Davis: I don’t make women feel inadequate. They already feel that way. I just trigger things that are already there. Things they haven’t dealt with.
Lena: You like having that much power over people?
Davis: (smiling) It makes me wetter than anything.
Lena: I guess I don’t understand what’s so sexy about that. But everyone’s different. There’s probably things about me you’d never understand.
Davis: Maybe. All I can say is, if there’s anything that I really really love, it’s making people feel things, very very strongly. That’s why I used to write.
Lena: You don’t write anymore?
Davis: Nah. What I do today effects the world way more than writing over could. Porn is visceral. It’s orgasms. Orgasms have a universal appeal.
Lena: So what’s your website called?
Lena: Interesting title.
Davis: (proudly) It’s to the point. Like me.
Lena: So is this a site where you put up clips and do private shows for fans?
Davis: Well, it’s a newer, more sophisticated version of that. I don’t really do web cam shit. This is modeled on the process of raising a social media profile.
Lena: How does that work?
Davis: If you join my site, you get access to all my unedited porn movies. If you write me an interesting paragraph about yourself with an accompanying pic, you get to interact with me. On Monday and Tuesday nights, the people with interesting paragraphs get to participate in a google chat. If you stand out in the group chat because you’re interesting and hot, you get 25 points. If you keep being interesting in the chat and I notice you and enjoy your company, you get more and more points. When you get 100, we have a private IM for an hour.
Lena: What happens during this private IM?
Davis: We have a conversation about something I’m interested in. If you seem genuine and cool and interesting and sexy, you get another 50 points. If we don’t hit it off, you’re back to zero in the group chat.
Lena: And what happens if you get 150 points?
Davis: You get a chance to take me out for dinner. If we hit it off, you get to take me out again. If I enjoy a second date, at the end of it, you get a hand job. If you can last more than 15 minutes without cumming, you get a third date. If you do well on that third date, you get to attend a party where I have sex with two hot chicks on a pool table. You get to watch me and film it on your iPhone.
Lena: Wow. iPhones are handy these days, aren’t they?
Davis: At the end of the party, I take you into the bathroom and you get some oral. You can choose to film that if you want. Most guys don’t, because they aren’t big enough to feel comfortable being filmed with their dicks hanging out.
Lena: Do women get to compete in the google chats?
Davis: Nah. I mean, there aren’t many women on the site anyway. But the policy is, if you’re a girl and you’re hot and local, I’ll basically do whatever you want.
Lena: So have loads of women been asking you to have sex with them?
Davis: No, they haven’t, weirdly. It’s mostly men. Female pornstars have sex with me because it’s good for their careers. But I have almost no female fans, apart from Janet Waverly.
Lena: That’s pretty strange, given how little they would have to do.
Davis: Yeah, the babes don’t know what they’re missing. Maybe they’re just scared. Who knows? But until I can figure out how to tap into that market, I have to hire my party chicks.
Lena: So where do these sex parties happen?
Davis: At the house in Downey. I’ve also hired a couple of Puerto Rican guys to do the filming – Monolo and Benji. They always do a good job. Both of them are cute, so sometimes I unofficially blow them afterwards in the attic, after everybody else leaves.
Lena: Isn’t that dangerous with all the potential STDs?
Davis: Not really. We’re tested all the fucking time. I don’t do anything with anybody who isn’t tested. All my fans have to get regularly tested. That’s part of how you get to be a platinum member of Inside Davis. The platinum members are the ones who get to compete in the google chats. Monolo and Benji are platinum members, so it all works out fine.
Lena: So who else is there at the sex parties?
Davis: It’s normally a bunch of my pornstar friends. I mean, they’re not really friends. But they’re the people I have sex with on camera. They’re not fans. If you let the fans into those parties, they get fucking aggressive. I swear, Lena. You cannot trust male fans to behave themselves if there’s a group of them. Especially if booze is involved.
Lena: How often do you have these parties?
Davis: We have them once every three months.
Lena: And what do Ben and Max do when you have these parties?
Davis: Well, they’re allowed to hang out for the first hour or so. Then when I get naked, they go into the garage and play video games.
Lena: Wow, they do that for you?
Davis: They actually do more work for the parties than I do. Ben does all the invitations. And Max cleans the house and gets it ready before the guests arrive. Both of them prepare the food snacks.
Lena: Shit, they must really love you.
Davis: Yeah, this is one area when Ben’s quite handy to have around. And of course, he loves counting the money and doing the accounts.
Lena: So it seems like Ben and Max are, in their own way, a big part of Inside Davis.
Davis: You could say that.
Lena: Well, I mean they’re not just ok with you being a pornstar. They plan and prepare your sex parties.
Davis: In some ways, they’re both good to me. I can admit that.
Lena: I mean think about it, Davis. You make porn, and you’ve got a website where men compete to have sex with you. You talk to these guys on google chats. If they’re hot and impress you, they win your contest, and get a blow job after watching a sex show. That’s what Ben and Max are living around and facilitating. It’s all happening in their home.
Davis: No, that’s not quite right. The guy who gets blown is just a semi-finalist.
Davis: If you want to get into the finals, you have to last more than 30 minutes while I suck you off. During that BJ, I try to get you off as fast as I can. During the last ten minutes, I stick my finger up your ass. If you can withstand all that pressure and make it into the finals, you and another finalist have to battle each other for me.
Lena: How does that work?
Davis: The two finalists take me out to an expensive restaurant. After we eat, we go back to my place. Both guys suck each other off while I watch and masturbate. It’s so fucking hot, Lena. They swallow the spunk and everything.
Lena: So these guys are bisexual?
Davis: No, they aren’t! You’d be AMAZED at what you can get straight guys to agree to when they wanna fuck you. It’s freaky.
Lena: (uncomfortable) It sounds freaky.
Davis: Yeah, but that’s part of what makes it so unique. I get to watch straight dudes perform a gay sex show for me. Then each guy takes turns going down on me. Whoever makes me cum first wins.
Lena: And what does the winner get?
Davis: To be inside Davis.
Lena: So vaginal sex?
Davis: Well, that, and I go over to his house and we watch my porn together. Then I fuck him and sleep in his bed. If I really like the guy, I might piss in his mouth. That’s always fun.
Lena: You mean if he’s into that?
Davis: (giggling) If a guy wants to fuck you, you can get him into anything.
Davis: Yeah, it’s not like with women.
Lena: How so?
Davis: Well, that’s kinda obvious, isn’t it? Male sexuality is different. With all the fucking testosterone, guys don’t get hurt by things like women do. At least not the hot ones who work out. And those are the only men I play with anyway.
Lena: So is every hot guy who wins Inside Davis happy with the grand prize?
Davis: Absolutely. After it’s over, the winner always tells me I’m better than his wife or girlfriend. Most of the time, she doesn’t even know I’m fucking her man. I always do a better job than her anyway. It’s crazy.
Lena: (shocked but trying to seem open-minded) …I wouldn’t have expected that.
Davis: Yeah, the girlfriends never take any responsibility. They blame me for their shitty relationships.
Lena: Why do you say that?
Davis: If they were better lovers, their guys wouldn’t have to hide me. We could all have a threesome and everybody’d be happy. But that’ll never happen with a jealous girlfriend. They always suck in bed, Lena. If fact, most of them won’t even suck a guy. That’s how bad they are. And they’re miserable too. Absolute kill joys with saggy tits. They can’t even do a hand job right.
Lena: It sounds like you think you’re better at sex than most women.
Davis: I’d say I’m in the top 10% of women.
Lena: (with a raised eyebrow) World wide?
Lena: What makes you so confident about that?
Davis: Every guy I’ve ever been with becomes obsessed with me after we have sex. Ben became obsessed with me after we first had sex.
Lena: Yeah, but Davis, you were carrying his child. Of course he was fixated on you.
Davis: Well, he didn’t know that until I was preggers for about 3 months. We had loads of sex before he knew he knocked me up, Lena. Some of it was unprotected. I hated condoms at that age.
Lena: (surprised and deeply hurt) …I don’t remember you telling me this.
Davis: Yeah, we were doin’ it like bunnies for the first few weeks. Four or five times a day. I miss that so much, Lena. Ben could never get it up like that now. Back then he could cum over and over and over again, all day long. Now I’m lucky if it’s 3 times a week. He can’t even last more than ten minutes.
Lena: Is that why you started Inside Davis?
Davis: That’s part of it. Ben’s horrible in bed now. And I need good sex more than three times a week. That’s for sure.
Lena: (holding in anger) So is sex with your winners….making them obsessed with you too? The way Ben got obsessed with you?
Davis: Oh, hell yes. I’ve never had one guy not cook me breakfast the next day. While we eat in bed, I normally do a post-interview that goes up on the website. The guys always talk more than me during that interview. It’s weird.
Lena: (trying to remain calm) …What do they talk about?
Davis: How much they love being with a woman who understands men.
Lena: How do you think you understand men?
Davis: I do for them what most women are afraid of doing.
Lena: Which is?
Davis: (matter of factly) I get them off as hard as I can. I push them to the edge.
Lena: What does that mean?
Davis: I say or do whatever gets them off, harder than anything. If they start screaming, I make them scream louder. I push them as hard as they can go, until they either collapse or fall asleep. Nothing is off limits, except anal.
Lena: Are you saving anal for Ben?
Davis: No, I don’t do anal. But that doesn’t matter cuz even women who do anal aren’t half as good as me. I think most women are scared of male pleasure, today. Just like men are scared of having small dicks.
Lena: Hmm….you could be right about that. I don’t know…
Davis: (interrupting) It’s obvious, isn’t it Lena? Men act like assholes. The culture encourages dudes to act like rapists and frat boys.
Lena: Well, I’m not sure I would agree. But I know many smart women who would say what you just said. And some men.
Davis: Assholes don’t get to fuck me. That’s one of the things I’m most proud of about Inside Davis. There’s never been another pornsite which gaurantees that only nice guys get laid. And I’m good to them for that. None of my winners ever have to get naked in front of a crew or even a camera, unless they want to. And all they have to do to win is be interesting, hot, well groomed, considerate, and someone who can keep up with me in a conversation. All the things any nice guy should be to get a woman into bed.
Lena: Do any of these guys become friends with you afterwards?
Davis: Nah, I wouldn’t wanna be friends with them.
Lena: Why not?
Davis: Well, it would be awkward…
Lena: Because they’re your fans?
Davis: That, and they don’t really see me as their equal. It’s like I’m above them. And given the nature of our relationship, that’s kind of how things are.
Lena: So you look down on them?
Davis: I can’t help it! Any woman would look down on them! You’d look down on them!
Lena: I don’t know. I guess it’s not sexy when a man puts you on a pedestal.
Davis: It’s the opposite of sexy. It’s childish.
Lena: So how many winners have you had?
Davis: 4 so far. The competition starts again every three months.
Lena: So do you enjoy the sex?
Davis: Oh, I love it, Lena. The last guy was a musician in a salsa band I really like. He had such a great ass. Another dude was a comic book artist with a really sexy goatee and these perfect shoulders. They were both super hot and super smart and totally considerate of me and my needs. They fucking deserved the orgasms I gave them. That’s part of what makes this so much fun. It’s like I’m giving men rewards for being the good guys.
Lena: But they’re not good enough for you to be friends with them.
Davis: No, they aren’t. But they’re still really attentive and sweet and giving. It’s way better than anything that ever happens with Ben.
Lena: So how does Ben feel about all of this?
Davis: Well, in the beginning he wasn’t really all that comfortable.
Lena: When did he get comfortable?
Davis: When he understood it was something I needed to do.
Lena: Well, Ben’s a good guy, Davis. A lot of guys would hate it if their wives were pornstars.
Davis: Well, that’s stupid. Being married to a beautiful woman is a privilege. Being married to a pornstar is even better. It’s the ultimate male fantasy. Every man wants that, if he’s honest with himself.
Lena: I think for some men, it’s a little threatening.
Davis: Why would you be threatened if you’re secure in yourself?
Lena: Well, it’s hard being totally secure in yourself. That’s hard for men and women. Being confident and secure in who you are can take years to acheive. A lot of therapy is about that.
Davis: At the end of the day, Ben’s married to a woman most of his friends wish they could fuck. They’d fuck me in their wildest dreams, Lena. And some of their wives aren’t bad looking.
Lena: I’m sure Ben knows that.
Davis: (giggling) Other men get so jealous around him. It’s hilarious. It makes him uncomfortable, but I can’t help but laugh. They’re so cute when they get nervous around me.
Lena: So do you watch your porn vids with Ben?
Davis: I wish!
Lena: What do you mean?
Davis: Ben doesn’t like looking at me on film. He’s fucked up in the head that way.
Lena: (surprised) Really?
Davis: Yeah, he feels inadequate. I tell him there’s nothing to be jealous of, but he never listens to me.
Lean: Well, he might be listening to you. It just might be hard for him to feel what he knows is true.
Davis: Well, he should feel it, Lena. I’m his wife and the mother of his child. He knows I don’t lie.
Lena: Sometimes people can believe something it’s hard to actually feel in their bones. That’s kind of how anxiety works. You know you’re safe but your body reacts like you’re in danger.
Davis: He’s upset because most of the people I fuck on camera are more attractive than him. That’s what he says.
Lena: What do you say to him when he tells you that?
Davis: I tell him if he’d spend less time eating fast food and more time at the fucking gym, he might feel less inadequate. Then we might both be able to enjoy Inside Davis.
Lena: Yeah, but he might be over eating because he feels inadequate.
Davis: If he stopped feeling sorry for himself, he’d realize how good he has it. He’s married to one of the best up and coming pornstars of 2016. I’m in the top ten lists of at least 30 websites that rank the best new pornstars, Lena. And it’s only been a year since we started.
Lena: I know that but sometimes, people aren’t rational. Feelings don’t always make sense.
Davis: (annoyed) He’s got himself one of the most DESIRED women on the fucking internet! People are sooo envious of him! I get so many emails from guys who say they wish THEY WERE him! And a lot of them are hot and have way bigger dicks! I save all the pics they send me.
Lena: Well, I imagine you would. Maybe Ben is just…
Davis: (interrupting) Ben won’t fucking allow himself to enjoy this because he doesn’t believe in himself. He thinks he’s not good enough for me.
Lena: But why does he feel that way?
Davis: (angrily) God, it drives me fucking bonkers! It would be easier if he was just boring. I could handle that. But not this. This is fucking pathetic. It really is.
Lena: Well, insecurity takes patience to handle and eventually overcome. Patience from both you and Ben. You’re in a relationship together.
Davis: But I am VERY VERY patient, Lena. It’s been 15 years and I’m still with him. Lord knows how many times I’ve thought about leaving Ben.
Lena: Before you created Inside Davis, did you guys talk about his feelings? Did you discuss how he felt about you becoming a pornstar?
Davis: Of course we did.
Lena: Do you think maybe he lied when he said he was ok with it? Do you think he said he was ok, maybe not to disappoint you?
Davis: No, we’ve always been very honest and straight forward with each other. He’d never placate me.
Lena: Well, that’s good.
Davis: I told him the truth. I said if he wanted to stay with me, my new career was something he’d have to be a man and get used to. I can’t stand possessive guys. Ben knows I would never put up with that kind of relationship.
Lena: But when you told him you wanted to be in porn, what exactly did he say? What was his reaction?
Davis: He tried to manipulate me, but I could so see through that shit. He kept saying, “Are you sure this is what you really wanna do? Are you sure, Davis? Have you thought about this?”
Lena: And you told him you were sure?
Davis: Of course I did. I am sure. I’m more sure about this than anything I’ve ever done.
Lena: How did he react to your certainty?
Davis: (giggling) He gave me this look like I ran over his dog. It was so stupid, Lena. I swear. But when you’re with a man, you have to put up with some dumb shit if you wanna keep the peace. It’s not easy though. I’m tellin’ ya’. Ben would make you want to pull your hair out! You dodged a bullet, Lena. You really did.
Lena: Well, any relationship has difficulties. Even when it’s good. You have to compromise. You have to learn how to fight and then negotiate and then make up. Its all hard work, even when it’s very satisfying.
Davis: Totally. Ben gets that, Lena. He knows he can’t control me. He’s a good husband in that way. That’s why I still tolerate his boring ass.
Lena: Davis….what do you want from Ben? What could he do that would make you happy?
Davis: I don’t know. I feel like I only know what I don’t want him to do.
Lena: And what would that be?
Davis: Well…it would be nice if he didn’t hurt my feelings. I could put up with him more if he didn’t hurt my feelings.
Lena: How does he hurt your feelings?
Davis: Like, I did this scene with Licky Linda, who I know Ben has a total boner for, even though he won’t talk about it cuz he’s embarrassed. I was soooo excited about this because I fucking love her, it was great for the web traffic, and it really catapulted us into the fucking stratosphere. But the thing I was most excited by was Ben. I wanted that scene to finally be a way for us to enjoy my porn. That’s the main reason I asked her to do it with me.
Lena: So Licky was like your gift to Ben?
Davis: She even offered to have sex with him, but he fucking said no! He wouldn’t even watch our scene when it was done! Can you believe that?
Lena: Maybe Ben just wants you to himself.
Davis: (disgusted) OH NO, I’d never be with someone like that! If there’s one thing I fucking hate, it’s monogamy. There’s no reason to be monogamous with anybody, ever. That’s pretty black and white, for me.
Lena: Why do you hate monogamy so much?
Davis: (passionately) Because you can’t just exclusively owe someone your sexuality. That shit is Victorian, Lena. I can’t believe people still practice monogamy today. I mean it’s 2016, for christ-sake! Everybody needs to just fucking get over controlling people. That’s bad for humanity.
Lena: Do you think Ben might secretly be monogamous? Like most people?
Davis: Well, he says I can trust that he’s not. He begs me to trust him all the time. So I give him the benefit of the doubt.
Lena: He begs you?
Davis: Yeah, he won’t risk ending our relationship. He likes having a family with me. I can understand that.
Lena: (sighing in frustration) Well…it could be that Ben isn’t turned on watching you have sex with other people. That might be what’s going on.
Davis: Maybe, but that still hurts me. It’s not like I’m unattractive, you know? I read email after email, from hot guys telling me how lucky Ben is. I could easily be in relationships with any of them.
Lena: Well, is that what you want?
Davis: Ben could lose me, Lena. He’s in danger of losing me. I tell him that every day.
Lena: I’m sure you do.
Davis: (angrily) But he can’t see it! It’s like he won’t see it, no matter how hurt I am. It’s like I can’t fucking win with this man! Nothing, and I mean NOTHING I do is ever good enough for him. Even Licky wasn’t good enough for Ben! He rejected her and made her cry! She’s never been rejected by a guy before. Never in her life. She’s gorgeous!
Lena: Did that embarrass you?
Davis: It made me feel fucking ashamed.
Davis: Yep. I was ashamed to be Ben’s wife that day. That’s how angry I was. You can’t insult a woman like that.
Lena: Does Max know about Inside Davis?
Davis: Oh, he’s worse than Ben.
Lena: How is he worse?
Davis: Well, he’s not technically worse. He’s not mean to me about my career. It’s just the things he does…the things he does hurt me way more than than anything Ben could ever do.
Lena: How does Max hurt you?
Davis: ..(sighing) Throughout his whole life, we were so so close, Lena. He never disobeyed me. He was always so curious and smart and well behaved and just perfect. I didn’t feel like I was hanging out with a kid, when I raised him. He was like a little old man, a sweet and gentle little friend of mine that just totally understood everything about me there was to understand. We had that until last year.
Lena: What happened last year?
Davis: He just got very quiet. Like he’s disappointed in me.
Lena: Are you angry with him, like you are with Ben?
Davis: I try not to be. I try to cut Max some slack because I know why he feels the way he does.
Lena: Why do you think he feels the way he does?
Davis: He’s 14.
Lena: 14 is a hard age. I remember what you were like when we were 14.
Davis: Yeah, kids are so fucking self-absorbed when they’re 14.
Lena: Do you ever talk to Max about your porn?
Davis: It’s hard because every time I try and have a conversation about it, he says he’d rather than not. He can be really rude sometimes.
Lena: How do you handle that?
Davis: I tell him if he wants to be rude, he can fucking be rude mowing the lawn. I don’t let him get away with being a dick, just because he’s 14. I won’t let him guilt trip me because his friends like Inside Davis.
Lena: That must be hard for Max.
Davis: What do you mean?
Lena: Well, I mean, his friends can see his mom having sex. That’s not something kids normally have to deal with.
Davis: There’s nothing to deal with. Sex is natural.
Lena: Of course. I just meant that most kids don’t have to worry about their friends seeing mom have sex. That’s maybe a very new thing.
Davis: But he doesn’t have to worry about anything.
Lena: I know Max doesn’t literally have to worry about anything. I was just thinking it might be embarrassing. Can you imagine how you’d feel if you were in his shoes?
Davis: Well, if I’d been raised by a family that didn’t consist of backward, slut shaming mysogynists, I’d know my friends were just being obnoxious little shits. If they put my mom down for her choices, I’d tell them to fuck off. I wouldn’t be friends with people like that.
Lena: Yeah, but Davis come on. You’re 34. Not 14. When you’re 14, you’re not perfectly reasonable. Your hormones are crazy. Don’t you remember what that was like?
Davis: What do Max’s hormones have to do with my porn?
Lena: Well, he’s 14. When you’re 14, you want your parents to protect you.
Davis: I do protect him, Lena.
Lena: I meant when you’re that age, you want your parents to keep their sexuality away from you.
Davis: (worried) You think I’m molesting Max?
Lena: (abruptly) No! I know you’d never hurt him! That’s not what I’m getting at!
Davis: Then what are you trying to say?
Lena: I’m just saying….most people have a target audience for their sexuality. They flirt and seduce people who become their lovers. They don’t seduce people they aren’t interested in. They don’t show those people images of them having explicit sex with strangers.
Davis: Yeah, but that’s only because of social attitudes, today. At this point in time, we’re still pretty backward in the West.
Lena: Well, when most kids go through adolescence and start to develop their own sexuality, they want their parents to keep out of their social circle.
Davis: But I’m not in Max’s social circle.
Lena: I know that. But your sexuality is part of his social circle.
Davis: (defensive) But that’s true of any kid who has a hot mom! Why is it my fault his friends wanna fuck me?
Lena: It’s not your fault, exactly. But you do encourage it.
Davis: (puzzled) How?
Lena: You consent to his friends seeing vids of you having sex. That’s what separates you from all the other neighborhood Milfs.
Davis: But I don’t consent to that! My vids are for adults.
Lena: Maybe you should be honest with yourself.
Davis: (confused) What?
Lena: You said you’re an exhbitionist, Davis. You said you liked being able to get off anyone who happens to watch your porn.
Davis: (abruptly) ANY GROWN UP! NOT FUCKING TEENAGERS! If I had my way, kids would have to use fucking finger printing to go on the internet, Lena. The only reason Max’s friends can see me is because their parents are lazy. It’s not because I’m trying to get them off. I don’t do that.
Lena: Oh, come on Davis! If you make porn in 2016, kids are gonna see it. No one can keep teens from seeing porn anymore. It’s not realistic to expect no kid to ever come across porn you’ve uploaded “for grown ups.”
Davis: But why is that my responsibility?
Lena: Well, it wouldn’t be if you were single. But your son is a teenager and all his friends look at porn. But Max is the one kid with a mom they can all jack off to.
Davis: (defensive) But they could jack off thinking about any mom in Downey! It’s not just me!
Lena: I know that but Davis, you’re MAKING their jack off material FOR them. Are the other MILFS on the block doing that?
Davis: Well, in a way, they are. Any hot woman who wears a short skirt is making their jack off material.
Lena: (rolls eyes) There’s a difference between wearing a short skirt and uploading vids of you having sex.
Davis: But I don’t make porn for fucking kids, Lena. My vids are specifically written and directed to please my fans. My ADULT fans.
Lena: Davis, get real. If you put porn on the internet, you’re crazy if you think only adults will see it.
Davis: So should no one be making violent movies? Kids’ll find a way to watch them too.
Lena: I’m not saying nobody should make violent movies. I’m saying sex is different to violence in that when we grow up, we want to be at a distance from our parent’s sexuality.
Davis: Max is distant from it, Lena. I never do anything in front of him.
Lena: It’s still very close to him. Don’t be stupid, Davis. Come on.
Davis: (defensive) But it’s not close to him! I don’t do anything anywhere near him!
Lena: (loudly) That’s not what I’m saying!
Davis: I’m confused now.
Lena: (in stern voice) Then pay attention! I’m saying YOU are the mother of a 14 year old son. You’re making the porn you know his friends watch. Can’t you read between the lines?
Davis: What’s between the lines?
Lena: You’re helping them cum.
Davis: ….Well, I don’t see it that way.
Lena: (in condescending tone) So you think you control who gets off when you put porn on the internet? You think you can make sure the only people who cum are the folks you personally approve of?
Davis: My porn is made for a specific audience that doesn’t include teenage dickheads. If they watch it and jizz in the bathroom, that’s not my fault! My shit isn’t made for them. If I had my way, there’d be better laws to keep minors away from anybody’s porn. But those laws aren’t there yet and things are the way they are now. I wish the internet was more regulated but unfortunately, it’s not.
Lena: Davis, can’t you predict what’ll happen if you make porn and put it in a place that’s swarming with horny teens? Can’t you use your brain, before you do this shit?
Davis: But kids are everywhere, Lena. They can see all kinds a crap that ain’t meant for them. This doesn’t mean I’m obligated to make family friendly entertainment. This isn’t Iran. This is Southern California.
Lena: (irritated) I didn’t say you should make family friendly entertainment! I’m just repeating back to you what you said. You said that you now have a successful career as an internet pornstar. You also have a 14 year old son that career makes uncomfortable because his friends watch you. And on top of that, your son has no say in any of this.
Davis: Max doesn’t get to control who I fuck and when. That’s my business and he knows that. He doesn’t get to control any woman’s sexuality. I’m teaching him to respect women.
Lena: Well, this is interesting. If Max isn’t comfortable with your porn, according to you, that means he doesn’t respect women.
Davis: (confused) What?…
Lena: You said any male who wants to control a woman’s sexuality is disrespecting women.
Lena: That means if Max wishes you weren’t a pornstar, he’s a male trying to control his mother’s sexuality. If you REALLY think Max has no right to have any feelings about who you fuck and when, that means he’s a dick for having any feelings about your career in porn. That’s what you’re actually saying.
Davis: No, I’m not! If there’s one thing Max is not, it’s a dick. He’s an amazing kid, Lena.
Lena: Then why are you describing his feelings this way?
Davis: Because they’re selfish and immature. I know he’s 14 so I’d never be resentful at him for being immature. But it’s my job to challenge those things in him. I’m his mother. I can’t tolerate sexism in my own kid, even if he is wonderful in every other way. He needs to treat people fairly, and especially treat women as his equals. That’s the kind of grown up I’m teaching him to be.
Lena: (sarcastically) Again, this is very interesting, Davis. According to you, you’re a good mother. You’re a good mother even though you don’t tolerate your son’s feelings.
Davis: Are you saying I’m a bad mother?
Lena: (abruptly) Not at all! That’s the last thing I would ever say!
Davis: Then why does it feel that way?
Lena: Because you’re misreading me. I’m not saying what you think I’m saying.
Davis: Then what are you trying to say?
Lena: I just don’t think Max is trying to control women by being uncomfortable with your porn.
Davis: If Max is secure in himself and his sexuality, he won’t be uncomfortable because of my porn. He won’t need to control any woman’s sexuality.
Lena: And how is he gonna get that security?
Davis: I’m trying to give it to him, with every damn thing I do. I’m teaching him.
Lena: What are you teaching him?
Davis: I’m showing him there’s nothing wrong with sex, nothing wrong with straight sex, gay sex, non-monogamous sex, and loads of other things people are still hung up about.
Lena: Well, maybe you should think about that in a different way.
Lena: It might be more useful to you.
Davis: (confused) What would be more useful?
Lena: Instead of thinking the problem is with Max, it might be more useful to think of him as a normal kid, a kid who wishes his friends couldn’t see his mom FUCKING STRANGERS.
Davis: (thinking hard) But …normal isn’t always good.
Lena: (rolls eyes) What would you know about normal?
Davis: Normal means looking down on women for their choices. I don’t want him to be normal that way, Lena. I want him to be better than normal.
Lena: (sarcastically) Gee, what a realistic expectation for a 14 year old, Davis. Why haven’t more parents thought of this?
Davis: Any decent parent has high expectations.
Lena: (with mocking laughter) You know, this is a really interesting take on parenting you’ve got here, Davis. It’s fascinating, really.
Davis: What’s so fascinating about it?
Lena: (with disdain) You ACTUALLY THINK a good parent makes her kid spend nights in the garage because she’s busy licking out pornstars on the family pool table.
Davis: (loudly) That’s no different to what any mom does!
Lena: (irritated) Davis, lower your voice please. You know there’s other people in this café.
Davis: (quieting down) I’m sorry, Lena. I was just trying to say that …sex is sex. The location doesn’t matter. Moms have sex in the bedroom and the kids can’t come in that room when she’s fucking whoever she chooses to be with. If kids find that awkward, that still doesn’t make it abuse. It’s just growing up with parents who have sex. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the bedroom or the pool table or anywhere else in the house. Sex is sex. Not abuse.
Lena: I didn’t say it was abuse, Davis. I just said it was awkward for Max.
Davis: Well, I wish Max didn’t find it awkward but he does. He’s 14. Hopefully in a year or so, he’ll change and we can be close again.
Lena: (skeptically) Do you really want him to be close to you again?
Davis: More than anything.
Lena: Then why are you making his life revolve around you having sex?
Davis: It doesn’t revolve around me having sex. It revolves around his Mom and Dad’s careers. His life revolves around his Dad’s work as much as it revolves around mine. That’s part of growing up in a family.
Lena: Then why is Max only embarrassed by your career?
Davis: Because he’s immature and selfish. But I can forgive him for that because I love him, Lena. He’s a great kid. He’s everything to me.
Lena: (mocking an empathetic response to Davis) Davis, what would be a mature way Max could FEEL about InsideDavis.com?
Davis: (not getting the sarcasm) I’d like him to be proud that his mother lives in a society where she can express her sexuality in a way that makes her feel confident and happy.
Lena: (sarcastically) How progressive of you.
Davis: I want him to be proud of me for being able to do something I love and still make money. Especially when people today find that so hard in this economy.
Lena: (sarcastically) Max is so lucky to have you, Davis. Really.
Davis: (becoming irritated but not knowing exactly why) He should want to defend me when people give him shit about what I do! He should be grateful to have a strong and independent woman for a mother, a mom who controls HER LIFE on HER TERMS. That’s what I’d like him to feel. He’s an amazing kid, so I want him to feel like I’m amazing too. Especially in my career.
Lena: Well, he might feel that way, in a perfect world where kids don’t actually have feelings.
Davis: An ideal world is only ideal when you’re too scared to make it happen.
Lena: (flaggergasted) God, Is that what you really believe?
Davis: (passionately) Of course I do! You should never accept things the way they are. You should always question everything and change whatever you can. Max agrees with me about that. We used to talk about this all the time. We could talk about this shit when he was 8, Lena. That’s how smart he is. It freaks me out.
Lena: You shouldn’t get freaked out by that. You’re very lucky to have a son like Max. Most kids are boring.
Davis: I know, right? That’s why I try so hard to be a good parent for him. He deserves a mom as good as the kid God blessed me with.
Lena: You really really love Max, don’t you? I mean, every mother loves her son. But with you, it seems a little different.
Davis: It is different. We’re not normal.
Lena: (laughing) Well, that’s because you’ve destroyed all the normalcy in your family, Davis. I’m sorry but..
Davis: (interrupting) That’s not what I meant. What I’m trying to say is….I’ve never felt like my son was a job. Ben feels like a job, but not Max. I never had a day when I felt exhausted by him. Not even when he was a baby. When Max was in diapers, I always got scared of hurting him, but he never scared me. He’s always been my rock.
Lena: (rolling eyes) Your rock?
Davis: He motivates me to do everything I do, Lena.
Lena: Even the porn?
Davis: Yeah. I think in a way, I’m trying to inspire him.
Lena: (in patronising voice) Really? How does that work?
Davis: I’m teaching him he can be anything. That there should be no limits to how he wants to express himself.
Lena: (sarcastically) Of course! No kid should EVER have limits on how they choose to express themselves. Kids need to be wild and free. I forgot about that, Davis.
Davis: That’s not what I’m saying, Lena. I’m saying there shouldn’t be rules when it comes to how consenting adults choose to express their sexuality. No one has a right to judge Max for his sexuality. That’s what I want him to know. That’s partly why I’m doing this.
Lena: (irritated) Oh, don’t be a fucking idiot, Davis. You’re the one whose judging him!
Davis: I would never judge him, Lena.
Lena: Yes you fucking are. You’re judging him for not being proud of you.
Davis: That’s not judging him. That’s teaching him.
Lena: Davis, get a fucking clue. You think there’s something horribly wrong with Max if he’s not happy his mom is a goddamn pornstar. That’s how much you understand your kid’s brain.
Davis: I didn’t say it was horribly wrong. It’s just him being 14.
Lena: (irritated) So he’s immature because he’s not proud that everyone can see you having sex in his house? Is that your idea of immaturity, Davis?
Davis: It doesn’t matter who sees me and who doesn’t. What matters is my choice and my happiness, Lena.
Lena: (sarcastically) Of course! It couldn’t possibly matter that everyone he knows can see you FUCK STRANGERS. I mean, who gives a shit if all his teachers jack off to you at night. That doesn’t matter at all!
Davis: If I’m a good parent, he’ll know that what they think doesn’t matter. He’ll know it in his heart. He won’t need to slut shame me.
Lena: (giggling) So if he’s not proud of your porn, he’s slut shaming you? You crack me up, Davis…
Davis: (with some ambivalence)…I can’t hate him for that. He’s a wonderful kid. The best kid I’ve ever known, honestly. But he’s still just a kid that hasn’t learned to respect women yet. That’s always a complicated process because it’s never as simple as it looks. I try to teach him about women, but the culture pulls him away from the values I try to instill. As a parent, I’m working hard to fight against the culture.
Lena: (sarcastically) Yes, there are so many ways our culture tells Max to disrespect women. I mean, tampon prices are up this week…
Davis: Lena, the culture tells Max he has a right to control women’s bodies, that women are there for his pleasure. That women are disposable when they get old and wrinkly. That if women choose to have sex in ways he doesn’t approve of, they’re sluts and skanks and whores. The culture tells him that anything other than monogamy is selfish, and that if a woman has an exhibitionist streak, she’s damaged goods. That’s how our culture tells him to disrespect women.
Lena: (sarcastically) Well, then I guess Max is utterly and absolutely disrespectful to all of womankind, isn’t he? I mean, not wanting your friends to watch your mom eat pussy? The gall of that kid!! How dare he!!
Davis: Lena…he’s not a woman hater but he does have some mysognist attitudes. Everyone in our culture does, and everyone needs to call them out and change them. Not just Max.
Lena: This sounds like victim-blaming to me.
Lena: Because you want Max to feel ashamed of his feelings. If you make him uncomfortable, that’s his fault. Not yours.
Davis: But Lena, sometimes it is his fault. Sometimes we should all be ashamed of our feelings.
Lena: (sarcastically) Of course! Silly me. How could I forget shaming is the wave of the future! Everybody does it on twitter, so it must be good for parenting sexually confused teens. You should write for the Huffington Post!
Davis: Lena, the first time I saw two women kiss when I was 9, I thought it was disgusting. It was so disgusting to me that I got a tummy ache. But I was the one who was being disgusting. My feelings were disgusting. Not the two women.
Lena: (like a disappointed parent) Don’t be a doofus. You were a kid. The feelings you have as a kid can’t be informed by grown up politics. And even when you’re a grown up, human feelings aren’t always fair. You should know that by now. You’re 34.
Davis: I do know it. And that’s why sometimes we need to change our feelings.
Lena: You think you can change feelings if you don’t acknowledge the importance they have to people? You think you can just turn feelings off?
Davis: Sometimes you have to turn them off. Some feelings are just bad, Lena. You can’t make allowances for all of them. Some of them are selfish and cruel and unjust. A feeling isn’t important just because it’s a feeling. Things like racism, sexism, homophobia, biphobia, transphobia…those feelings are important to call out and get rid of. Nothing more, nothing less.
Lena: (sarcastically) That’s so true! Why didn’t I notice that before? You’re job as a parent is to help Max shut off his feelings! That’s soooo healthy, Davis! I mean, why on earth doesn’t everybody parent like this?
Davis: It’s my job to help him shut off SOME of his feelings. It’s my job to stop him internalising the world’s messages about women. I want him to understand he has no say in how any woman expresses her sexuality. He has no right to judge or disapprove or question any sexual choice any woman makes.
Lena: (in a sarcastic baby voice) ..and especially not his mommy. If mommy needs to have an orgy, Max better be good and go to the garage. Yes, he should.
Davis: (irritated) He should go to fucking the garage! He should be proud that his mother’s brave enough to do what makes her happy! I wish I had a mother like that. Who knows where I’d be now if I had that kind of mom?
Lena: (giggling) So when your face is buried in some woman’s snatch, you want your kid to be proud he’s in the garage?
Davis: (passionately) Yes, I fucking do!
Lena: (sarcastically) Yes, Max should be so proud of all that sexual imagery he’s not even allowed to see.
Davis: (frustrated) That doesn’t have anything to do with me! It would be against the law for him to see me having sex!
Lena: And have you ever asked him how he feels about that?
Davis: It doesn’t matter how he feels. He needs to grow up and be a good person.
Lena: (like she can’t believe how stupid Davis is) So Max being a good person means he has to be proud of sex he’s not allowed to see? And then he has to turn off his feelings if he can’t make himself proud?
Davis: Being a good person means not judging how I or any woman chooses to express herself, or earn a living. As long as I’m not abusing him, he has no right to have an opinion about anything I do.
Lena: (with disgust) What do you mean he has no right to have an opinion…??
Davis: He can’t control me or any other woman who happens to embarrass him. Being embarrassed isn’t the end of the world.
Lena: (sarcastically), Yes, he’s definitely controlling you, Davis. It couldn’t possibly be that he’s uncomfortable with some of your choices. What a bastard your son is!
Davis: I don’t care if he’s uncomfortable, Lena. I don’t want him to grow up feeling like because he’s a guy, he’s entitled to judge and cajole women into doing whatever the fuck he wants. I don’t want him emotionally blackmailing his girlfriends. I can’t stop Ben from doing that with me but I can stop Max.
Lena: (rolling eyes) So Max is blackmailing you if he acts disappointed in you.
Davis: If that’s not blackmail, what is?
Lena: Davis, he’s disappointed in you because you make something it would hurt him to see. Meanwhile, everyone he knows can see it and wack off. Don’t you get it?
Davis: But those feelings are unhealthy, Lena.
Lena: (sarcastically) Yes, they’re sooo unhealthy, Davis. They couldn’t POSSIBLY be feelings any 14 year old would have about his mom if she fucking did porn. It couldn’t POSSIBLY be that! Not in a million years!
Davis: If we accepted everyone’s feelings, women wouldn’t have the right to vote. We wouldn’t have gay marriage or trans rights. Black people would still have to sit at the back of the bus.
Lena: (sarcastically) Yes, and as every historian knows, none of those things changed because we started to value the feelings of oppressed groups.
Davis: No, Lena. They happened because those people have rights that need to be respected. Apart from that, feelings don’t matter.
Lena: (mocking Davis) So everyone else’s feelings, the men, the white people, the straight people, the cisgendered…all those feelings just don’t matter! I mean, how could I not see that! Thank you for pointing this out to me, Davis!
Davis: Those feelings don’t matter, Lena. I know it’s not popular to say that right now. But people will get it as time goes on. Just like today, people understand that the feelings of slave owners didn’t matter.
Lena: (giggling and shaking her head) So Max’s feelings about your porn are like the feelings of slave owners? Jesus, Davis…
Davis: They actually are, Lena. I know that sounds harsh because I love Max so much, but that’s just how it is. This is the culture we’re dealing with right now. We have to fight this.
Lena: (mocking Davis) Tell me how we need to fight it, Davis? I must know! There’s a national election in two months!
Davis: If Max or me or anybody else has feelings that deprive somebody of their rights, we have to accept that those feelings just don’t matter. They’re the wrong feelings to have.
Lena: (sarcastically) Yes, that’s so true! It’s so sad progressives don’t know this already. It’s so sad even Democracy Now would say Max’s feelings DO MATTER. We need to put a stop to this now, Davis. Maybe you should email Noam Chomsky.
Davis: Lena, western society is still sexist and ashamed of female sexuality. Even lefties. But it’s the job of the left to move things forward, now. Especially those of us who are raising male children. It doesn’t bother me that people on the left can’t hear this yet. They’ll hear it eventually.
Lena: You amaze me, Davis. I just can’t believe the dumb shit that comes out of your mouth. It’d be hilarious if it wasn’t so fucking horrible.
Lena: Davis, what would you say if Max falls in love with a woman and she cheats on him? Would you say he’s not aloud to have strong feelings about that?
Davis: I don’t think anyone should be monogamous, Lena. I told you that already.
Lena: But is Max even allowed to feel hurt if a woman cheats on him? Is he allowed to feel like she’s betrayed his trust?
Davis: I know it sounds like I’m being a hard ass, but no…he’s not. No woman is obligated to have sex with him and only him. He has no right to expect that of any woman.
Lena: (sarcastically) Oh, of course not! Especially not a woman who says she loves him and tells him they’re in a relationship. If he expects her loyalty, he’s JUST A CONTROLLING PRICK! That must be what’s going on!
Davis: If she changes her mind about who she wants to sleep with, he has to respect that.
Lena: (sarcastically) Yes, and respecting her choice means he’s not allowed to be hurt. Not one bit. That would be sexist, wouldn’t it? Being sexist is bad. You know, I forgot about that Davis…
Davis: He’ll be hurt if he feels like he has a right to control his girlfriends. I’m raising him to know he doesn’t have that right. I don’t care if people don’t understand that right now. I don’t expect people to at this point in time.
Lena: (sarcastically) Yes, right now, it’s not possible for ANY man to respect a woman’s choice and STILL be hurt by it. That’s like flying cars, Davis. We’re just not there as a species, are we?
Davis: No, let me explain Lena. If Max is hurting because a girl has sex with someone else, that means he wishes she only had sex with him. And if he acts like those feelings are worthy enough to cry over, that means he’s accepting them on some level. I want him to be better than that.
Lena: (with disgust) And YOU THINK he’s capable of being as good as you want him to be! You think a fucking 14 year old is capable of that!
Davis: I believe in my son, Lena. He’s an amazing kid. I’ve never known anyone like him. I’m not just saying that because I’m his mom.
Lena: (sarcastically) And everybody knows amazing kids never have AAAAANY limitations. They can do AAAAAAnything. They can fly, if you push’em hard enough, right? Isn’t that what good parents do?
Davis: No, Lena. If we accepted everyone’s limitations, we wouldn’t have democracy, civil rights, human rights, or the most basic liberties. Progress happens because we push people to do what doesn’t feel easy or comfortable. When we push people, everyone’s happier in the long run.
Lena: So let me understand this interesting parenting philosophy of yours: If Max is upset because his girlfriend cheats on him or his mom is in porn, his feelings are sexist and wrong. He needs to turn them off. His feelings are wrong, even if his feelings are like what most people in his situation would actually feel. Even most women.
Davis: Normal isn’t good just because it’s normal. Jealous girlfriends are normal.
Lena: So suppose you decide to fuck one of his friends in a few years. Is he allowed to be upset about that?
Davis: No. I mean, he might be, but I’ll be incredibly disappointed. Let’s put it that way.
Lena: Are you allowed to be upset at him over who he chooses to have sex with?
Davis: That’s different. I’m his mom.
Lena: Are you allowed to be upset if he jacks off to your porn?
Davis: (rolling eyes) Like Max would ever do that!
Lena: But suppose he did. Would that upset you?
Davis: Hell, yeah! I didn’t make that porn for him to perv to. I’m his mom.
Lena: But what if you turn him on? It’s not like he can control that.
Davis: He can control giving into those impulses. He doesn’t get to act like trailer trash just cuz his mom is sexually liberated.
Lena: I see how this works. You’ve given yourself permission to disapprove of both his sexual choices and his sexual feelings.
Davis: That’s called parenting a teen, Lena.
Lena: But he’s not allowed to disapprove of any of your sexual choices or feelings.
Davis: He’s a teenager. I’m a woman. It’s my job to parent him. The rules are different for us.
Lena: (sarcastically) Yes, it’s part of the rule book that teen feelings aren’t worth shit. Especially teenage boys. I forgot that part of the parenting rule book. Thank you for reminding me, Davis…
Davis: Lena, my job is to teach Max how to deal with his feelings. His job is to obey me and try to understand what I’m teaching him. As a parent, I’m first and foremost a teacher. I’m also a role model.
Lena bursts out laughing.
Davis: What’s so funny?
Lena: You’ve got a booger on your nose. Let me wipe it off.
Lena pretends to wipe off a booger from Davis’s nose.
Lena: Look, Davis. I have a lot of shopping to do today. So maybe we should think about saying our goodbyes. Unless you want another cappuccino. If you do, it’s on me ok?
Davis: Why do you wanna buy me a cappuccino?
Lena: For being a good sport.
Davis: A good sport?
Lena: Well, for putting up with me today. I’m sure there are more fun ways of spending an afternoon.
Davis: No, Lena. I love talking to you. In fact, I needed to talk to you today.
Lena: I’m glad someone got something out of it.
Davis: Can we keep talking?
Lena: (surprised) You want to keep talking?
Davis: Yeah, if it’s ok with you.
Lena: It’s ok, I guess. So…should I get two more cappucinos?
Davis: I’ll have a water. I’m calorie counting, right now. I hate it, but I have to look better than most women.
Lena: (rolling eyes) Naturally.
Davis: (matter of factly) You know I gotta pop those boners. It’s my job.
Lena: (rolling eyes) And to think I had the pleasure of forgetting that for a few seconds.
Davis: Anyway, go and order your cuppucino.
Lena: Ok, 1 cappucino and 1 bottled water. I’m gonna have a croissant, I think. And maybe two chocolate cookies.
Davis: Are you sure you wanna do that?
Davis: Well, your face looks really puffy today. And your chin’s way bigger than the last time I saw you.
Lena: (sarcastically) Thanks for telling me Davis. I hadn’t noticed.
Davis: Yeah, when you gain weight, it’s really bad for your complexion. Go look in that mirror and you’ll see what I’m talkin’ about.
Lena: (sarcastically) It’s ok. I trust you.
Davis: Don’t you worry about gaining weight?
Lena: Only when I’m not celebrating.
Davis: What are you celebrating?
Lena: (smiling mischeviously) I’m getting to talk to you, Davis. I didn’t expect that today.
Note: An earlier version of this piece was written for “Philosophy in the Bedroom”, a 24 hour performance hosted by Sheree Rose, Rhiannon Aarons, and Martin O’brien. The performance is in commemoration of performance artist and photographer Sheree Rose’s 75h birthday. She is most noted for her documentation of BDSM and queer sub-cultures in Los Angeles. Rhiannon Aarons is an exhibiting artist, curatorial contributor, and author of children’s books, working in Los Angeles. Martin O’Brien is a performance artist whose work considers existence with a severe chronic illness within our contemporary situation. His work has been commissioned and funded by the Live Art Development Agency, Arts Council England, Arts Catalyst, Midlands Art Centre, and the British Council.
All three of them, to my knowledge, are sex-positive.
COTO is a platform for expressing and exploring fresh, maybe controversial, but definitely thought provoking ideas that allow people to understand contemporary culture in new ways.